Lost Time, Found Love

By PJ Martin 

Editor 

The Herald-News 

 

Georgia resident Heather Lally (originally from Louisville, KY) had never known her biological father, and at 47, she had pretty much given up on ever knowing him. 

But in 2024, after her husband, William, gifted her with a DNA kit for her birthday, she had hopes that she would find out something about her father’s family. After sending in the test, she learned more than she had ever dreamed. Her world exploded with surprise. She had a match, and it was her biological father!  

But how could that be? She had been told by her mother that her father was someone she had a relationship with in the 70s. An answer her mother thought was true. When Heather was a teenager, she had asked her mother for more information about her father, because he had been absent her whole life and she knew very little about him. They searched and soon learned that he had passed away, so that was closure.  

But now, she had just learned who her real father was and that he was alive! That opened up the chance to connect and possibly have a relationship with a real father. 

The test had matched Heather with Henry Sullivan, Jr., a resident of Kentucky who grew up in Metcalfe County.  

Not only had she never expected to find a biological father, but she found a whole family tree of aunts, uncles, and lots of cousins. 

With an older photo of Henry in hand, Heather showed it to her mother, who had lived at the same apartment complex in Louisville as Henry back when they were both in their 20s. She recognized him immediately.  

After much debating about what to do, Heather decided to message Henry through the Ancestry portal and wait for a response. With a thirst for information, little patience, and lots of excitement, she tried to find out everything she could about him. Unbelievably, she learned that she had grown up just a couple of miles from him during her young life.  

 She learned that he was a Vietnam veteran and had a couple of grown children. She had siblings! 

Henry had been drafted by the US Army when he was just 20 years old. He served in Vietnam as a combat medic, and when he was finally discharged, he moved to Louisville. As Henry describes it, “The 70s were different in many ways.” 

He had a rough time trying to forget many of the things he saw in Vietnam, especially as a combat medic. Not unlike many Vietnam Veterans, he spent time dulling the memories with alcohol and even tried pills; however, eventually, he tried to move on with his life as best he could. 

In the 70s, he had lived in that apartment complex called Iroquois Gardens in apartment number 321. He retired in 2002 after working as a Medical Research Technologist for the University of Louisville Medical Center.  

Henry had signed up for Ancestry and taken a DNA test in order to find out more about his family history. He had always heard his mother’s family was English and he wanted to learn more.  

He didn’t check his account very often since receiving his DNA results. So, it was a while before he even saw her message. 

When he first read the message from Heather, he was a bit surprised. He remembered Heather’s mother from the apartment complex, and years before, he had seen her at a mall with a little blonde-haired girl. He thought she had married and had children. He now realized that it was really his daughter. 

Henry said he always had the feeling he might have a child out there, mostly because of how the 70s were and how relaxed social boundaries were then.  

He didn’t know how to go forward after reading her message and decided to speak with his son-in-law, Kristoff, who is a calm and level-headed type of guy. When Kristoff searched through Facebook and saw Heather’s picture and looked at his wife, Sharon (Henry’s youngest daughter), he told Henry, “She’s yours.” 

Henry also shared that message with a cousin and sought his advice. He didn’t doubt Heather; he just wasn’t sure how to proceed. He was 74 years old and just learned he had a 47-year-old daughter. His cousin suggested that they talk to each other and go from there. 

He also shared the information about Heather with his son and daughter to see what they thought. Marshall and Sharon were thrilled to have a sister, and with the family resemblance, they had to be related. 

After he replied, they ended up swapping messages and photos back and forth for hours and she was amazed to learn how much she looked like the Sullivan side of the family. She was also surprised that Henry’s mother, Marguerite, her grandmother, was 103 years old. 

The very next day, they spoke on the phone and heard each other’s voices for the first time. Heather learned more about Henry and the family, and he learned that he had another son-in-law, William, and a grandson, Liam, who was 18. Henry told her, “We need to meet in person.” Those words were something she had longed to hear from a father. 

Soon her family was on the road to Kentucky! It was only a month or so since they first learned about each other and here they were on the road to his home to meet him. She was nervous, of course, but was met at the door with open arms when they arrived. Since that day, Henry has tried to make up for lost time. They refer to it as a year of firsts. Henry has traveled to Georgia for the holidays, and Heather has spent time with Henry at his home. 

“I truly believe my dad is making every possible effort to give me as many memories as he can. He is the most generous man,” said Heather.  

Her siblings have welcomed her also. “Marshall was the first to call me when they found out about me… What a thrill to have my very own brother, my blood.” 

Marshall and Sharon both live in California with their families. “We have flown to California twice to have more time together. Sharon and I talk several times a week, whether it’s me asking her a family question or just checking in on each other,” said Heather. 

It has been a great experience for Heather’s husband, William, as he has gained two brothers-in-law and a father-in-law, and the group has gone deep-sea fishing together. 

Heather was unsure how her son, Liam, at 18, would react to her father, but to everyone’s surprise, they got along great. Liam also went deep-sea fishing with the group. Henry is also making up for lost time with his grandson.  

Meeting the new found family has been a process, and sadly, two members of Henry’s immediate family, back home in Kentucky, were not as happy to accept Heather and treated her very disrespectfully, but Henry stood by his daughter and fought for her acceptance. 

“Although it was disappointing and hurtful, I chose to focus on the relationship that mattered and the many, many family members who saw me for what I was — the same blood with the same right to belong as everyone else. I am grateful for the love I have received,” said Heather, adding, “I spent too many years of my life feeling like half a person. I couldn’t allow anyone to diminish me.” 

“I’ve done everything I can to establish validation for Heather,” said Henry, adding that he wants her to know she is wanted and that she has a dad. 

 

Heather stated, “The resemblance between me and my grandmother, Marguerite, and her only sister, Martha, is shocking to everyone. Martha has been so sweet to me and always calls me her twin as soon as we see each other. Her daughters, Lori and Leslie, have also been welcoming to me and my family. Martha said to me recently, “Just know that if Henry had known about you, he would have been there.” 

Henry insisted that he adopt Heather legally and put his name on the birth certificate. It’s a complicated process adopting an adult; however, Henry explained that he wanted to do everything he could to correct things for his daughter. So, he went through the process and got her birth certificate changed to say Heather Sullivan and put his name on it as her father. 

The following is how Heather explained her parents’ relationship now: “One of the most unexpected blessings to come out of this is the friendship between my parents. They are so funny together. My dad has a very ‘teasing’ and fun-loving demeanor with her, and she always puts him right in his place. They had both lived a single life for many years, and now they have each other to enjoy an occasional lunch date or holiday show. My dad had not put up a Christmas tree in many years, so last Christmas, my mom helped him put up a tree he could enjoy. They both came to Georgia for our first Christmas together, and it was probably one of my favorite Christmases. It truly is a living Hallmark movie.” 

Heather is currently working on a book about their journey of discovery, knowing that others are out there going through the same thing. “When I found my dad and this whole new family, I came into it without any expectations, as there was a possibility of further rejection,” explained Heather. She expressed that many people who have a DNA discovery later in life may face that outcome, and hopes the book might help them.