Parody of the Judge Kavanaugh Supreme Court procedures

Recently our baseball league finished the season with a 4 to 4 tie between the Deplorables and the Swamp Rats. Game 8 was planned, teams were investigated to insure they met the provisions of the league and finally the game was played, over a several weeks period. At the end of the game, the Deplorables had won, 13 to 12, however, a couple of days after the final game, the Swamp Rats complained, saying they had a player, they had had on the roster since July but had not announced that they had this player and he had not been investigated nor had he played.
The Swamp Rats demanded that the series be reopened and that they get to play the 9th inning again. Additionally, they demanded that they get to bat last, that they decide the balls that would be used, when and where the game would be played, and who would call the balls and strikes.
This new Swamp Rats player admitted he had been drinking, could not remember why he even played the game, could not remember where he lived, or how he got to his house, and could only vaguely remember two of the players, and only remembered them after 2012. This Swamp Rat player was living in California, did not like to fly, so they demanded that the final inning do over be delayed several weeks so the Swamp Rat player could prepare for the game, and the Swamp Rats could possibly recruit additional players, and maybe have a whole new team, after the first week of November.
The Deplorables initially said no, the series was over, and the teams needed to move on to football season, which starts the first of October. The Swamp Rats accused the Deplorables of bullying them, called them names and accused them of rushing to get the game over. Both the Deplorables and the Swamp Rats began running TV commercials supporting their team and distorting reality in their assertions.
Finally the Deplorables caved, the final inning will be played over, the Swamp Rats will be allowed to play this new player, and when this game is over, the Deplorables win again. The Swamp Rats will complain, demand something else, because they know they don’t have the numbers. All they can do is obstruct, obstruct, obstruct and delay, delay and delay.
And, that, Ladies and Gentlemen, is why the American People have lost faith in the leaders of our league, and the procedures to play the game.
Cleo C Hogan Jr.
Park City

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